.*.Snow.*.

Maybe it's this winter gloom that we seemed to be stuck in, or maybe its the pressure of doing well in school.  Either way, it felt like I was burried under the snow.  So much has happened lately, it feels like a blur.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm dreaming.  I keep hearing about all these deaths, sicknesses, and suicides... and one of my very good friends has just been diagnosed with an aggresive form of cancer and his chances of surviving it are not that great.

It's times like these where I just stare and the sky and wonder what's going on with the world.  We may struggle but the earth keeps turning, the snow keeps falling.

I've realized that I can choose to either sit frozen under the snow, or I can dig myself out and breathe fresh air.

Everyone has their own troubles, some worse than others.  But it is how we react to our troubles that defines us as strong or weak, happy or lost.  I have decided to be happy and positive, and now I am that much stronger.  The weakness that plagued me before diminishes every day, and I can feel my stress fading, just as the snow beings to melt.

I'm smiling all the time, taking deep breaths and letting the wind mess up my hair.  I'm eating healthy foods that make me and my body feel good.  I'm pushing myself to work out often.  I'm saying hello to as many people as I can.  I'm trying my best in school, studying and preparing.  I'm trying to go the extra mile at work.  I am making time for family, playing with my brother, shopping with my mother, and talking about my future with my father.  I am learning to accept myself.  I am opening up to others, and laughing more.  I'm looking forward to spring, but at the same time I am enjoying myself now.  I have mourned the deaths of the people I knew but I have learned from them and I know they would want me to help others instead of sitting there in a daze.  I am helping out with a huge fundraiser for my friend with cancer.  We're going to save him.

This change in my attitude has already brought me many good things.  I've gotten a raise at work and I have been praised by my supervisors and my boss.  My mom and my aunt have helped me to lose ten pounds in just three weeks.  My grades are improving.  With the help of my dad, I've been applying for scholarships like crazy and things are looking good for me in terms of going to college.  I am finding more and more things I like about myself and also more things about myself that I can work to improve.  I feel great, and I haven't been sick at all.  Also, more guys have approached me lately thanks to my newfound confidence. :)

I just wanted to feel good, and now I do.  All I did was try.  I had everything I needed, and so I acted upon it.  But let me tell you, I'm just getting started.  The snow is melting, the fog is clearing.  I'm waking up to spring.  The warmer it gets, the better I feel.

I had first hoped that this post was going to be beautiful or poetic, but it ended up being more like a personal motivational ramble. :)  Anyway, thanks for listening.

Stay strong and breathe, life's too short to dwell on the bad things.  There's so much goodness in this world, you just have to look for it.  It's time for spring.